Seriously, what about being spiritual and seeking the truth ISN’T a mindfuck? No matter where you look, where you turn, what you study, there is always someone or something waiting to mess with you.
Whether they mean to or not, people make you doubt everything. If you’re really immersed in the topics, but not 100% sure of whom you are and what you believe, this is a daily battle.
The problem seems to be that nobody really knows what the truth is.
I think the real problem is that a whole lot of people think they DO know what the truth is, and that truth is applicable to everyone.
But for many people, and I’m going to assume you’re one of them if you’ve landed on my weird-ass blog, their personal experiences don’t go along with the dogmas and expectations of these ever-so-confident people.
I was raised Christian, as will come up a lot, and the reason I was driven away from the Church was too many people either telling me that my abilities were sinful and I needed to repent of them, or people trying to pigeonhole my gifts. They would do everything they could in order to jam my experiences into a box that they could understand – and then would proceed to tell me what I should do with my life in order to bring glory to God for giving me these gifts.
There is nothing wrong with bringing glory to God. By all means, do so! But when I felt like they were assigning me gifts I didn’t actually have, simply because they didn’t understand what I DID have, that made no sense to me.
Whenever I would ask about spiritual gifts, I would get conflicting information, and basically just ended up confused, frustrated, and feeling like I was doing something horribly wrong. Mindfuck.
Now I teach what I know, and I constantly run into topics I don’t know about (the rabbit hole never ends, btw – but that’s another post entirely) so there is always learning going on. But it is so easy to meet people who still think they have it right, and it can leave you feeling doubtful about your own knowledge.
The really weird moments are when you almost agree, but there’s this one thing you can’t get past, and thus you’re “wrong” in the other person’s mind because your experience doesn’t match their beliefs. Mindfuck.
Basically, there is nothing concrete about what we do. There are no hard and fast answers. Mankind has been seeking answers to our existence since that existence began. We’ve been trying with all our collective might to figure out where we came from and where we’re going.
The more you learn and the longer we dig, the more it seems like we’ve been at this search longer than anyone originally thought, and that history is not what we think it is. Mindfuck.
On top of all this there is also a large group of people who want their spiritual path to look like it has never taken a dark turn, and that everything is peace, light, and love. I’ll be a bitch and say it – many of them are lying. Many more are in denial. I’m not going to say that nobody has a perfect wonderful experience, but I think that’s the exception. So there’s a lot of people who want to tell you you’re “doing it wrong” just because you’re experiencing the realness of spiritual growth. Mega-mindfuck.
So how do you handle this twisting path through some of the darkest parts of the human experience? With Faith and a sense of humor.
Yes, folks. Faith. Faith that at some point, if you press far enough into the forest of the unknown, you will once again see light that will lead you forward into your truth. Faith that you know what you’ve experienced so far, and that nobody can take that from you. Faith that sooner or later the pieces will fall into place.
And while that works, it’s still kind of a mindfuck. Apparently there’s no real way around it.